The Bogey of CP
There are few things at IIM-A that scare me as much as CP. Now I'll tell you straight up, dear reader, that I have always been a back bencher. My time in engineering was spent perfecting the art of making myself transparent. And I can say, without pride or vanity, that I had mastered this art. Not once, during my whole college career do I remember being called upon to give my opinion on unsavory topics such as the matter being taught in class. Of course if I was lucky enough to sit behind someone, well, how can I put this delicately, of a 'healthy build', then I could just comfortably go off to sleep.
Now from being invisible, I have to make the transition to not just be in a semi conscious state during lectures but also actively participate in class…the dreaded class participation or CP.
Unlike many other study tools invented to make life hell for students, the CP concept is not exclusive to IIM-A. From what my friends in other b-schools tell me, this phenomenon pretty much manifests itself in all self-respecting business schools.
So what's wrong with participating in class activities, you ask? Well dear reader nothing, except for the fact that the marks you get in a particular subject, is tied in to the amount of CP that you put in. Now since the average b-school denizen would be willing to commit bloody murder for a mark more, every class is a call to arms to see who can wrestle the most amount of air time. Now supposedly there is a rule that CP marks are to be given on the basis of the 'quality' of your CP. If such a rule exists, Profs and students remain blissfully unaware of it. In class, anything goes; as long as words are coming out of your mouth, you are collecting CP points.
As you might have guessed by now, this leads to some 'interesting' opinions being aired during lectures. People dig out traumatic events from years gone by for individual and group behavior lectures, give out personal anecdotes that have absolutely no bearing on the matter at hand and even ask doubts about topics with which they are well-versed with, all in the name of CP.
Even here there are people who have honed their skills to superhuman levels. Upon careful observation, I have distilled their abilities to a few bullet points, which I reproduce, eager reader, for your benefit.
1. Rephrase and Paraphrase: The 'Can we say that?' ploy- Repeat everything the teacher just said, but in your own words. An illustrative example:
T: Since the company has been taking debts to repay debts, one might assume that this is for the purpose of debt-swapping. However since the interest rates seem to be going up, one can safely conclude that this is not so.
CPartist: Ma'm, can we say that, since interest expenses on debt is increasing the company's policy of taking debt to repay debt is not an example of debt-swapping??
The hapless teacher cannot disagree of course, seeing as how she had made the very same point 34 milliseconds ago!!!
If you are really desperate, you could also use the 'Can we say that?' ploy on your fellow students' points too.
2. Ask doubts on topics which are crystal clear: The 'I didn't
understand the third step' ploy- Pay attention for five minutes and
see if you can understand anything, anything at all, about the matter
being currently discussed. Once you've sighted a potential theory or
statement or sum, raise your hand.
T: The sum can be
done in the following manner:
Ai=2
Aj=2
Ai+Aj=4
CPartist: Sir, could you please explain the third step…
T: ?!?!!
3. Take a 'practical view' of things: The 'But how can we apply this in the real world?' ploy- A lot of stuff taught in b-schools is theory. Take advantage of this. To anything the teacher says, ask, 'But ma'm how can we apply this to the real world?'
Can be used for an infinite number of times.
4. Tell a traumatic story/personal anecdote: For all subjects that deal with human behavior, the easiest way to put in CP is to narrate a personal anecdote. It doesn't have to be funny or especially relevant, heck, it doesn't even have to be personal. Something that happened to your neighbor's friend is good enough. Just make sure that you're not lifting it from Reader's Digest. Everything else is fair game.
CPartist: Ma'm this reminds me of something similar that happened to me once…my wife Rashmi…
T: Rashmi?!?! I thought you told the class a few lectures back that your wife's name was Sheetal???
CPartist: Oh Ma'm…it
seems I haven't told you about the tragic story of what happened to
my first wife…